


ginger rogers did everything that fred astaire did (she just did it backwards and in high heels)

by kayteedancer



Series: November Challenge [19]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: BAMF Roxy, Eggsy Unwin Whump, Gen, Not Canon Compliant, Not Golden Circle compliant, Post-Kingsman: The Secret Service, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-20
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2019-02-04 16:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12775098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayteedancer/pseuds/kayteedancer
Summary: There was no comforting weight of glasses on his face, so Eggsy didn’t have a connection to Merlin, which was a problem.  He would have to figure out where those had gotten to, or he would just have to pray that Merlin figured out something was wrong and activated one of the subcutaneous trackers they thought he didn’t know about.  He flexed his fingers slightly, frustration rising within him as he realized that not only were his hands tied, but they were tied well; not even dislocating fingers would allow him to slip the knots these people had him in.  Rope zigzagged up his arms, keeping them locked straight and unable to be bent or used.  A quick wiggle of his legs found them in the same predicament as his hands and arms.Whoever had him knew what they were doing, knew what he was capable of, and had planned accordingly.He was sofucked.





	ginger rogers did everything that fred astaire did (she just did it backwards and in high heels)

**Author's Note:**

> Eep! Hi! I think I just barely got this up in time. I present to you, Day 19! The prompt for today was: _"Welcome back. Now fucking help me."_. I did it, I actually used the prompt correctly this time, everyone! Be proud of me XD
> 
> Anyway, here's some Kingsman for you! I freaking loved the first movie and haven't had a chance to see Golden Circle yet, so this is set post-Secret Service and _definitely_ not canon compliant.
> 
> Thank you so much to all of you who have read, reviewed, and left kudos! You are all the lights of my life and if I haven't responded to your comments yet, I promise I will get back to you soon! Thank you so much for reading <3 <3
> 
> I'm cutting my note off here so I can (hopefully) get this piece up while it's still the 19th for me. So please enjoy! And come visit me on tumblr (sleepeatdancedream)!
> 
> Title is a quote by Ann Richards.

Everything hurt.  His fingers hurt, his chest hurt, his legs hurt, even his _hair_ hurt.  Eggsy barely suppressed a groan, slitting his eyes open to take in his surroundings, making sure to keep his breathing deep and even.

There was no comforting weight of glasses on his face, so he didn’t have a connection to Merlin, which was a problem.  He would have to figure out where those had gotten to, or he would just have to pray that Merlin figured out something was wrong and activated one of the subcutaneous trackers they thought he didn’t know about.  He flexed his fingers slightly, frustration rising within him as he realized that not only were his hands tied, but they were tied _well_ ; not even dislocating fingers would allow him to slip the knots these people had him in.  Rope zigzagged up his arms, keeping them locked straight and unable to be bent or used.  A quick wiggle of his legs found them in the same predicament as his hands and arms.

Whoever had him knew what they were doing, knew what he was capable of, and had planned accordingly.

He was _so fucked_.

The door banged open suddenly and Eggsy shut his eyes again, his breathing giving off the impression that he was still asleep.  Eggsy listened as light footsteps made their way toward him, stopping somewhere near his waist.

“Galahad,” a female voice said, clear and crisp with nice round vowels, ringing through the room.  “Galahad, I know you’re awake,” she stated, footsteps moving closer to him.

Eggsy struggled to remain still, his breathing even, hoping that she was bluffing and would leave if she didn’t get what she wanted.

The woman hummed.  “Still insisting on playing possum?  Alright then, let’s try this again.”

Eggsy felt the air move around him and fought the urge to tense.

“Mr. Unwin,” the woman’s voice commanded.  “Wake up.”

A chill ran down his spine as his real name fell from the woman’s lips.  If she knew who he was, then she probably knew about his mum too, and _Daisy_ –

“Mr. Unwin, if you do not comply and open your eyes right now, your sister will pay the price,” she threatened, seeming to read his mind.  “Daisy should be at the park by now with your mother, yes?  It would be just awful if something… happened to them.”

Fear crashed over Eggsy like a tidal wave.  He opened his eyes; compliance would cost him nothing and potentially save his family’s lives.

He would risk his own life in a heartbeat, _had_ risked his own, but he would never bet with theirs.

“Well, you got my attention,” he drawled, staring at the brown leather of the woman’s flat-soled boots.  Good for moving soundlessly, keeping one’s balance, staying comfortable, and easy to run in if the need arose.  “Is there somethin’ I can do for ya?”

Eggsy saw the boots slide further away from him as the woman lowered herself to sit next to him.  She was petite, short brown hair cut in a severe bob framing a rather plain face.  Dark jeans were tucked into her boots, an expensive peacoat wrapped around her and what looked like a red cashmere scarf added a pop of color to an otherwise monochromatic wardrobe.

All in all, she looked more like a law student than a criminal mastermind, but Eggsy hadn’t really looked like a Kingsman when he started the trials, so he didn’t have much room to talk.

The woman smiled, pink lips baring small white teeth in a shark’s smile.  It completely changed her features, making her look fey and dangerous, like a faerie in a myth.

“There you are, Mr. Unwin,” the woman purred.  “So nice of you to join us.”

Eggsy should probably have stayed quiet, letting the woman speak and (hopefully) reveal her plan like villains tended to do.

That was never quite his style. 

“Well, ya put so much effort into bringin’ me ‘ere and makin’ me stay to ‘ear ya out.  It’s the least I c’n do,” he shrugged as much as he was able while trussed up on the concrete ground, a flippant grin lighting his features.

The woman’s smile dropped at his attitude, a look of disgust flickering over her features before she schooled them back into neutrality.

“So common,” she murmured under her breath, shaking her head in disappointment.  “I had expected better of Kingsman.”

Eggsy didn’t react, keeping his flippant smile firmly in place as he began to feel the skin on his inner thigh begin to heat up.

Merlin had activated a tracker ( _when had he gotten one there?_ ) and would send someone on their way shortly.  He just had to not die until then.

The woman unfolded herself from the floor, sliding to her feet gracefully as she let out a put upon sigh. 

“Mr. Unwin, I trust you realize that you will not be leaving this complex alive?” she asked flatly. 

“Well,” he dragged out, playing up his accent.  “I can’ say I’da planned on it. I promised Dais’ and me mum I’d be back for the hols, and Christmas is a time for family an’ togetherness, an’ all that shit, innit?  So, can’t say I did, bruv.”

The woman’s lips ticked up in a sneer as her foot snapped out, kicking him squarely in the ribs.  Eggsy coughed as the air was driven out of him, ribs creaking at the force.  “Speak properly, or do not speak at all, Mr. Unwin,” she hissed.

Eggsy smirked.  “I don’ fuckin’ fink so, bruv,” he goaded her.

The woman kicked him again and again and again with force that belied her small stature.  Eggsy was sure that she had broken some of his ribs and cracked the others, but the tracker under his skin burned hotter than it ever had before turning ice cold.

Kingsman was here.

“You will die today, Mr. Unwin!” the woman screeched.  “You have derailed my plans one too many times, commoner, and failure is not something I am accustomed to!”

“Well, better get used to’t, bruv,” Eggsy smiled wide, his teeth stained red with blood.  “Because ya ain’t ever gonna be successful again.”

The woman shrieked, winding up to kick him once more when the door slammed open behind her.  Eggsy saw the heeled Oxford and sighed in relief; Merlin had sent him Roxy.

This woman would _not_ be leaving here alive; Roxy was merciful like that.

The woman whirled around, mouth dropping open in surprise.  Roxy didn’t even hesitate before shooting the woman in the center of her forehead.  The woman crumpled to the floor, eyes wide and staring just inches from Eggsy’s own.

“Sorry I'm late, honey,” Roxy drawled, kneeling next to him. “Got held up at work.” 

Eggsy barked out a laugh.  “Welcome back,” he answered shortly.  “Now fucking help me.”

“Really,” Roxy tsked as she cut away his ropes.  “That’s the thanks I get for saving your life?  How are we friends?”

Eggsy’s muscles screamed in relief as his bonds loosened and eventually fell to litter the ground around him.  Pushing up to a sitting position, Eggsy rubbed at the raw skin of his arms as he stared at her blankly.

“I pushed you out of an airplane,” he deadpanned, and Roxy laughed.

“You didn’t push me; I jumped out of my own volition!” she exclaimed, shoving a brand new pair of glasses onto Eggsy’s face.  “I just… needed a little more time to get used to the idea.”

“Of course, Lancelot,” Merlin’s Scottish brogue burred in his ear and Eggsy laughed at the false sympathy that colored his tone.  “I’m sure you would’ve gotten it in your own time… though you might’ve been 85 or so when you’d finally worked up the courage.”

Roxy rolled her eyes as Eggsy and Merlin laughed, rising to her feet and pulling Eggsy up to meet her.  She handed him a loaded Kingsman handgun and turned back to the door, pulling another one from her shoulder holster.

“If you two are quite finished,” she sniffed, “I think it’s time we get out of here.”

Eggsy grinned, baring his teeth.  “Great idea, Lancelot!” he chirped.  “Ladies first.”

Roxy’s answering look was nearly feral, her grin blinding.  Hardly looking as a group of minions rounded the corner, she let of four shots in quick succession.  Four bodies hit the ground not long after.  “You just give me the nicest presents, Galahad,” she laughed and they were off.

Kingsman had trained them well.  There were no survivors when they finally burned the complex to the ground.


End file.
